Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and
improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it, But why not begin
on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more
profitable than trying to improve others - yes, and a lot less
dangerous. "Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof,"
said Confucius, "when your own doorstep is unclean."
If you and I want to stir up a resentment tomorrow that may rankle
across the decades and endure until death, just let us indulge in a
little stinging criticism-no matter how certain we are that it is justified.
When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with
creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion,
creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
Bitter criticism caused the sensitive Thomas Hardy, one of the finest
novelists ever to enrich English literature, to give up forever the
writing of fiction. Criticism drove Thomas Chatterton, the English
poet, to suicide.
Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so diplomatic, so
adroit at handling people, that he was made American Ambassador
to France. The secret of his success? "I will speak ill of no man," he
said, " . . and speak all the good I know of everybody."
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.
But it takes character and self-control to be under-standing and
forgiving. "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
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